Good parenting theory is the first thing that gets thrown out the window when you have kids. When my boys do something wrong, I know I need to discipline them. But how much? How often? In what cases? It's always very tough. I look at their sweet faces and it's so hard to discipline them when they do something wrong. But I know, deep down, that the most important factor for success in life is having personal discipline. Talent and intelligence can take you some of the way but without personal discipline they remain unfocused.
But knowing that and acting on that are two different things. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't want to be an ogre. And it extends way beyond punishing for wrongs too. The 7 year old's friends all seem to have an unlimited supply of toys. They're into these Pokemon cards. Their friends seem to have an endless number of these things that their parents have gotten for them. We won't buy toys for the kids as a general rule unless it's birthday or Christmas. We expect the 7 year old to buy his own toys at other times with money he got for his birthday or money he earned doing chores. But it's hard when he looks at us with his sweet little eyes asking why he has to buy these things when his friends all get them "for free".
What's worse, I am not even sure if I'm doing the right thing. The other children around us are very good kids. It's just that deep in my bones I know that our children need more discipline in their lives. But it's hard to actually do it. But if we take the easy way now to make them happy today, I fear we'll set them on the path of limited happiness down the road as they are unable to achieve their own hopes and dreams due to being incapable of focusing on the task at hand and mastering the art of delayed gratification.