Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
Published on September 7, 2012 By Draginol In Business

First off, I want to thank all the people who have written their kind words of support these past few days.

I wish I could say this is the first time we’ve had to deal with a frivolous lawsuit and I wish I could say it was the last. It happens. It’s business. The only difference here is that one party doesn’t normally leak this sort of thing out to get press coverage.

It is amazing how many people will look at a bunch of unsubstantiated allegations and assume they’re true or assume that they are seeing even a tiny fraction of the full story.  I know I’m somewhat guilty of this since I have often taken the view “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

The emails I get often ask me how I “deal” with some of the vile and ignorant things that have been tweeted to me or said.  The answer is, you can’t take that sort of thing personally.  They’re reacting to drama they’re reading without really thinking any of it through.

I’ve been online for almost 30 years now – since Commodore 64 BBS days. It is extremely easy for someone to make things up and pass them off as fact.  I once got forwarded a claim by someone who said that we made female units in War of Magic weaker than males (they’re identical other than graphics).  But someone makes something up, it gets past on and it eventually becomes fact.

Heck, every time I go over to BluesNews.com, there’s some guy who insists I’m a Glenn Beck fan, a show I’ve never even watched. That’s why it is important to remember that the Internet isn’t real life.  That is why I’ve told my younger friends to be wary of taking their various virtual communities too seriously. It isn’t a replacement for personal relationships with people in real life.

When you are interacting with hateful people, don’t think of them as the norm. And while you can try to fathom where all that hate comes from, it’s ultimately irrelevant. People like that are always hating something. The phrase “haters are going to hate” is a truism. There are people out there who are miserable and there always will be.

There will always be people who will read unsubstantiated allegations, even ones that have direct contrary evidence, and still believe it because they have an inherent need to hate something or someone.  You can’t take those people personally. They’re facing an issue that you can never cure.

As someone who has had the opportunity to start their own business, literally from their dorm room, and build it up over many years, I’ve gotten to see this sort of thing ebb and flow.  My advice to those who have been tempted to lash back at these people who are filled with hate is to just ignore them. You might as well go out and yell at the rain.  You can’t change them. Only they can address whatever it is inside of them that makes them so ready to hate people they’ve never met (whether that be some Internet geek or a politician or celebrity).

The thing to remember is this: There is something fundamentally wrong with someone who is prepared to hate someone they've never even met. There's no point worrying about them.


Comments (Page 4)
on Sep 08, 2012

Hi Brad, I nearly posted on here in response to Truman earlier (these haters are so friggin dense) but I held off because you're right about it being futile - haters gonna hate.

 

I hope this woman doesn't get a dime off you and I reckon most of her accusations will fold quickly under scrutiny and cross-examination. However isnt she also going to accuse you of failing to act on her harassment complaints once she raised them? I don't know how it works in the States but here in the UK there has to be investigations etc if someone makes a harassment complaint. Anyway I wish you all the best on this

on Sep 08, 2012

I wish they had loser pay laws here. That would shut down this kind of nonsense in a hurry.

I was looking at the Kotaku article (which has the court filings she gave them - which, astonishingly, have a lot of personal information about  witnesses -- if I had done this, the haters would be all over me but I'm sure she'll get a pass).

Anyway, there's enough evidence there to make it pretty obvious that her allegations are ridiculous. The testimony comes from her friends. And I don't even mean former friends, I mean, people who are still her friends. Today.  Page after page of affadavits from witnesses who say her claims are false.

But these people aren't interested in facts. They just want to hate someone.

Here's an example from one of HER friends who testified, under oath. And I'm just grabbing this from the Kotaku article. It's not stuff we provided.

 

And on..and on.  In this person's case, she was his boss. They're still friends.  Today. Every single one of her subordinates and every single one of her friends has responded like this - even ones who don't work at Stardock and have no relationship with me one way or the other. 

But the haters will grasp on to some private email I sent to my sister-in-law (my wife's sister) where I huffed about taking my ball and going home and proof I'm nuts. As if most people never get mad and say things privately they don't mean.

But that's what makes these people so screwed up. They'll feign false concern that I shouldn't point this stuff out in public (god I've heard that so many times over the years from people who have no idea what they're talking about). But what they really hate is having the obvious pointed out -she made a bunch of baseless accusations and all her witnesses say the same thing - it's bullshit.

Someone who was genuinely interested -- and I mean genuinely, could go to the Kotaku article and read through all her allegations (Which sound horrific) but then read all the witness testimony - from her friends - that objects to it.  The only person who was not a witness btw, but the only person who has given her any support was Phil Madis. Not a friend of mine but a very good friend of hers. And long before he provided any testimony, his name had come up:

And keep in mind, it's not like we are asking anyone to take sides. Just withhold judgment. But it tells you something when someone admits that the existence of this case automatically makes them "angry". Angry enough to start and participate in a thread in which they call someone names or wish death on them or what have you.  

And BTW, the above exerpt, from the Kotaku article again, was made by another one of her *current* friends.  

And so it goes.  This isn't even a close call. So yea, since we won't settle it, I'm pretty comfortable talking about what what is actually *publicly* filed (our lawyers would kill me if I divulged anything beyond what is in the documents they put up -- or at least laugh all the way to the bank with all the extra legal expenses it would cause <g>).

on Sep 08, 2012

I think that there is an obvious trend towards more publicity in our lives. Sometimes its involuntary, such as legal documents which used to be fairly obscure when they existed in paperwork and are now easily searchable when put in an electronic format. Advertising firms and other companies are collecting vast sums of information about us that could easily be turned into a life-long profile. We are voluntarily posting huge amounts of information such as pictures, location data, videos, as well as our opinions and life stories online.

 

We are becoming so reliant on the Internet for communication and forming our identities that less and less people will be living off the grid as we go into the future. Some think that once everyone has their closeted skeletons thrust into plain view we as a society will become more accepting and less judgmental. Others think that we will have an apathetic society where individuals are preyed upon on a daily basis by hackers, government agents, or corporations seeking to shape our behavior.  

 

Either way, it seems to me that participation will increase as more products and services are created. There is just too much value for people to wall themselves off.

 

Even though I grew up alongside the Internet and understand it really well, there are people being born who have a much stronger attachment to it than any of us do. For them, the Internet might be just as real as anything that happens offline.

on Sep 09, 2012

You know, I agree with the specific case of this as it relates to Stardock's current legal dispute. But I do think that "They hate because they're haters, so I don't need to listen to them" is a dangerous viewpoint to take. There are certainly people like that, but there are also people with legitimate criticisms that might merely be wrapped in vitriol for whatever reason, be it (sub)cultural or due to emotion. I feel it's important to be careful that you don't ignore good advice when you think you're disregarding pointless hate.

on Sep 09, 2012

Cruxador
You know, I agree with the specific case of this as it relates to Stardock's current legal dispute. But I do think that "They hate because they're haters, so I don't need to listen to them" is a dangerous viewpoint to take. There are certainly people like that, but there are also people with legitimate criticisms that might merely be wrapped in vitriol for whatever reason, be it (sub)cultural or due to emotion. I feel it's important to be careful that you don't ignore good advice when you think you're disregarding pointless hate.

I agree wi you. Luckily, if you look at a couple of the haters who volunteered to serve as examples, they make it pretty obvious.

A general rule of thumb I use: if you hope a total stranger dies or gets tortured, you might be a hater.

on Sep 09, 2012

Frogboy
I think the issue is that there are a lot of unhappy people on the Internet. And they look for reasons to be "angry" at people. And their threshold for being "angry" is remarkably low.

I'm in constant pain and suffer limited mobility, sleep deprivation as a result of it. Therefore I'm miserable, unhappy and angry at the world pretty much all the time. 

Well I would be if I let it get to me and blamed the world for my predicament.  Thing is, it's nobody else's fault and there's not a lot anyone can do to help, so I make the best of what I have and what I'm able to do.  And yeah, while I'm able to be unpleasant and/or angry toward others, it's not the best use of my time or energy.  I have more than enough sleepless nights as it it, without adding some insane and needless hate campaign to exacerbate the problem, and that's my point. 

More often than not, it's the hater who suffers the adverse affects and sleepless nights, not the intended victim.  That's the karma kicking in, and once you commit to a path of ill-will it just doesn't get better.  I suspect that is the case here, and that this woman will regret her course of actions, if she doesn't already.

Frankly, Brad, you have nothing to worry about, so stick to your guns and all will turn out fine.

on Sep 09, 2012

Thanks.  

To everyone else:

The emails and messages I get of support are appreciated. But please, please do not try to engage the haters. Just let them do their thing. Don't sign up for accts, don't suddenly jump in and start trying to "help".

Youre dealing with "level 5" jerks there.

See: http://www.systemcomic.com/2011/08/03/so-youre-mad-about-something-on-the-internet/

 

(hT to the person who emailed that to me)

 

 

on Sep 09, 2012

Road rage on the Information Superhighway. Back in my radio days, it was called H&D....Hate and Discontent.

The method of communication has changed, the attitudes have not. There are those who have no joy in their lives who insist on attempting to pass their misery on to others. They rarely succeed.

on Sep 09, 2012

Frogboy

Quoting Cruxador, reply 50You know, I agree with the specific case of this as it relates to Stardock's current legal dispute. But I do think that "They hate because they're haters, so I don't need to listen to them" is a dangerous viewpoint to take. There are certainly people like that, but there are also people with legitimate criticisms that might merely be wrapped in vitriol for whatever reason, be it (sub)cultural or due to emotion. I feel it's important to be careful that you don't ignore good advice when you think you're disregarding pointless hate.

I agree wi you. Luckily, if you look at a couple of the haters who volunteered to serve as examples, they make it pretty obvious.

A general rule of thumb I use: if you hope a total stranger dies or gets tortured, you might be a hater.

 

I hope all those total strangers who wish people to die or be tortured get tortured or die!!! Errr, uhhh....

on Sep 09, 2012

I've refrained from commenting on this subject so far, and will continue to do so, as it's the court's job to deal with it, not mine.  I enjoy living in a society where disputes are settled by courts (as imperfect as they are) and not by lynch mobs and posses.

However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).  There's a certain forum (I'm sure you can guess which one) that seems to be undergoing some sort of slow-motion self destruction over this.  And this is supposedly after those forums were purged of "trouble-makers" and accounts only given to upstanding people.

Truly bizarre, yet fascinating to watch.

 

on Sep 09, 2012

I rarely lurk at that site anymore. Too much noise. But I thought the point of the great douching was to cut down on the shitard ratio over there. Didn't they form their own exile sanctuary where they could circle jerk off in harmony?

on Sep 10, 2012

Cauldyth
However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).

I don't know that I find it fascinating, more ludicrous and quite bizarre.  For mine, it is just as pathetic as walking by a bar, hearing there's a bar room brawl in progress and going inside to get involved for the sake of it.  There is more than enough hostility in this world and we don't need this kind of lunacy adding to it.... and hostility need not come in the form of violence or physical abuse.

Now I do not know this woman persecuting Brad, but what I gleaned from those court documents is that she is a go getter who is never satisfied with her lot.  It has nothing to do with what Brad did or didn't do, nor what he said or didn't say.  No, it's her hostility and aggression toward Brad because she sees him as successful and a have, while she is an unsuccessful have-not with a lot less, hence the hostile and frivolous court case, because she wants a piece of it. 

The fact that she went from one job to another until she reached $100,000 a year, and is still looking for more, tells me that she is more driven by greed rather than success.  Yes, there are those sad sacks who measure success by the amount of money they earn/accumulate, rather than by their achievements and the good they've done in life.  Sadly, this woman falls into this category, but it will be her undoing and she will become even more bitter and twisted as a result of her own failings and greed.

And no, for those who might be thinking it, I'm not suck-holing up to Brad for anything... free software or the like.  No, I'm more than happy to pay my way and I'm calling it as I see it... and I'll bet bucks to a bucket of shit that various people at Stardock will agree with me.  A spade is a spade, and while I personally do not know this woman, I've met her dozens of times in different places and situations.  That's one thing about human nature, it knows no nationality and people the world over are the same.  Some of them may look beautiful and come across as charming, but on the inside they're downright ugly and will turn on you quicker than a snake.

on Sep 10, 2012

Here's hoping the comments attached to that were/are staged....

.......

....if not I now know where we are going...and why we are in this handbasket....

 

 

on Sep 12, 2012

starkers
Quoting Cauldyth, reply 55However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).

I don't know that I find it fascinating, more ludicrous and quite bizarre.  For mine, it is just as pathetic as walking by a bar, hearing there's a bar room brawl in progress and going inside to get involved for the sake of it.  There is more than enough hostility in this world and we don't need this kind of lunacy adding to it.... and hostility need not come in the form of violence or physical abuse.

Now I do not know this woman persecuting Brad, but what I gleaned from those court documents is that she is a go getter who is never satisfied with her lot.  It has nothing to do with what Brad did or didn't do, nor what he said or didn't say.  No, it's her hostility and aggression toward Brad because she sees him as successful and a have, while she is an unsuccessful have-not with a lot less, hence the hostile and frivolous court case, because she wants a piece of it. 

The fact that she went from one job to another until she reached $100,000 a year, and is still looking for more, tells me that she is more driven by greed rather than success.  Yes, there are those sad sacks who measure success by the amount of money they earn/accumulate, rather than by their achievements and the good they've done in life.  Sadly, this woman falls into this category, but it will be her undoing and she will become even more bitter and twisted as a result of her own failings and greed.

And no, for those who might be thinking it, I'm not suck-holing up to Brad for anything... free software or the like.  No, I'm more than happy to pay my way and I'm calling it as I see it... and I'll bet bucks to a bucket of shit that various people at Stardock will agree with me.  A spade is a spade, and while I personally do not know this woman, I've met her dozens of times in different places and situations.  That's one thing about human nature, it knows no nationality and people the world over are the same.  Some of them may look beautiful and come across as charming, but on the inside they're downright ugly and will turn on you quicker than a snake.

Just the same, if there's any free software Brad wants to give us, we'll more than happily accept it.

on Sep 12, 2012

years ago i lurked on the forum you guys are talking about. but after they opened the flood gates it became as much a cesspool as any other gaming forum these days. it's a real shame because it had a lot of promise. the last time i visited there it was just a bunch of idiots substituting snark and animated gifs for actual discussion. 

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