Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
Why am I doing this?
Published on February 27, 2006 By Draginol In Blogging

I'm feeling pretty cranky today.  This week.  This month.

Part of it has to do with not having had a single day off since Thanksgiving.  I even worked on Christmas day.  Every day. 7 days a week. 

A few weeks ago I pulled a 111 hour week.  The last week or so I did over 80. I'm tired. Very tired.

Last week I had to temporarily take down JoeUser since the site, which is not a business enterprise, eats up around 30% of the database bandwidth of our critical accounts server. 

I want to stress that we would never just take down JoeUser permanently without letting people get their stuff.  We have a moral obligation to all users who have blogs.  And I don't have any plans to take down the site either.  Your blogs are safe.

But boy am I fed up with it right now.  I'm fed up with dealing with ungrateful whiney people.  I get a half dozen emails a day from people who address me as if I'm their technical support person.  I'm not talking simple, polite questions.  I mean rude, condescending nastiness. "Fuck you" is what is what I want to say sometimes when I get some really nasty person who is ticked off that our "service" being down for a week is simply "unacceptable".   You wouldn't believe some of the crap I get.

And then there's the onsite stuff. Just before the site went down, LW's husband had a post on sexuality in the United States.  I actually agree with his opinion 100% in terms of the subject matter.  But it was one of those ignorant "I'm from another country and Americans are stupid sheep" type posts that really gets on my nerves. I found it incredibly arrogant, even by my standards.  Which I said as much in a comment. For him single out the United States as being sexually obtuse when the US is probably more open minded than 90% of the population of the world is silly IMO.

But what presses my buttons is when I get arrogant, disrespectful and dismissive responses like "Why don't you go back to using JoeUser to peddle your latest game".  That sort of crap just irritates me.  And I express my irritation pretty straight forwardly. I repeat the golden rule of JoeUser: Don't piss off the owner.   I debate people all the time and don't end up wanting to ban those people.  But you start to get personal and I'll make you disappear from the site.  Or more to the point, you treat me with contempt and you're history.

In response, I got the ultimate button pushing -- where the guy who I'm allowing to use my blog site for free starts taking the attitude that I should be treating him better because he's a customer of the company (he bought a game) and treats JoeUser as if it's a business enterprise, which it's not. 

Every once in awhile someone will come on and comment to one of my blogs "The CEO of a company shouldn't do X, Y, Z".  How the hell do they know what a CEO should and shouldn't do?  Last time I checked, the job of a CEO is to please the shareholders.  The shareholder of Stardock is pleased.  You need help on a product, I'll bend over backwards to help you.  But don't go telling me how I should behave on my blog site.  If I want to write an article that talks about my fondness of canibalism, that's my damn business.  If people make buying decisions based on my behavior, then sorry that's asanine. You're not hurting me. The distance between a product purchase decision and me is so far removed that such buying decisions could never be connected.  And besides that, it makes the false assumption that I'm driven by money.  If I was, I would have stopped these crazy hours long ago. I'm already "set" so to speak.  I'm driven by the desire to make cool stuff. JoeUser being an example of doing something that we think is cool. There's no financial motivation behind JU. Never has been.

So LW's husgand is gone now. But with him goes his wife, Little Whip who I actually like.  I don't know what she sees in the creep but I'm sure people wonder the same thing about my wife (i.e. how she puts up with me).  Which does irritate me more since I enjoy her stuff but there's on way I'm putting up with someone like that.  But if keeping him around is a condition of her hanging around, then it's a no brainer. 

And as harsh as this is to say, especially of someone leaving whose stuff I really enjoy, it won't affect JU in the bigger scheme of things.  Time marches on and it's amazing how quickly people start to forget people who were daily parts of an online community. And I don't say that as if it's a good thing. It's a bad thing.  My good friend Jark started an art community called deviantART.  It eventually had multiple owners and eventually those owners teamed up and fired him.  He was once "the heart" of deviantART.  It would be the equivalent of me being removed from JoeUser permanently.  A couple months pass and you'd never know he was part of the site.  NEVER (and I say this with painful first hand experience) mistake popularity in a given community as existing apart from that community.

Getting back to JU and the profit motive thing. People need to understand something: Stardock owns this site. I own Stardock. It's not VC funded. It's not a partnership. There are no stock holders to answer to.  I own it. The job of a CEO of any company is to please the shareholders.  That typically means increasing profits -- which I've done.  But in a privately held company, it can mean anything.  And the only place i really get mushy about are the people who work WITH (not for) WITH me.  I'll take guff from a coworker.  I won't take it from a user of a free site that we provide purely because we think having the site is cool.

You order one of our products and you need help on one of our sites and are reasonable about it, I'll bend over backwards to help you.  At our product sites, the customer isn't just king, they're god.   But JoeUser isn't a product.  Bloggers aren't customers here.  If I bought ice cream from LW's husband, that doesn't give me the right to go up to him at a bar and shit on him about a totally unrelated thing.

What will happen in the near future is what happens over and over.  A bunch of people will post melodramatic "Goodbye" blogs and then march off to oblivion. Of course, they are certain that their popularity here will travel with them. I exiled LW's husband and Furry Canary since he decided to pile on.  We "wankers" do that.   And I may clean house further.  Because, like I said, I'm fed up.  I'm tired of taking shit.

And those people who do go, I wish them well.  I really do.  They aren't likely to get the kind of attention they get here, however.

What JoeUser brings to the table, totally free of charge, is powerful auto-syndication so that people's stuff gets out there and read by lots of people and responded to. No one else does it. Not because it's technically impossible but because it's very expensive to build and run such a site and unlike JoeUser, the other big blog sites are for-profit enterprises and so you won't see the kind of system out there any time soon.  So to users who think I'm a jerk or whatever (and I am a jerk sometimes) feel free to go to Blogger or whatever. 

So hopefully those who are reading this and thinking "Oh man, Brad's really being nasty" it's true, hopefully people can also realize that I'm human too and I get tired and I don't like being treated like a servant, especially when I'm giving something out that's very expensive, for free, year after year.  I don't expect a bunch of thank yous or appreciation.  I just ask that people not treat me as if I'm supposed to be their customer service agent.

 


Comments (Page 3)
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on Feb 28, 2006
I don't think you are as bad as some people might think you to be...I mean, how much of a jerk can you be if you are married to Jill, who to me is a level headed, intelligent woman, and a caring &devoted mother and wife. I am sure she sees many wonderful sides of you that we will never know of on here.


Gee, thanks Inbloom. Brad is a very good guy. I only wish people could see the Brad that I know. I couldn't even tell you how many times I have jumped to a conclusion about someone only to have Brad say, 'They may have not even meant anything by that. You better get clarification before you comment.' So maybe a lot of my 'level-headedness' can be credited to my counter part.

And with kids the ages of yours, how much are you missing out on if you're working 80 or 110 hours a week?


Brad takes being a dad very seriously. There is nothing he regrets more than missing out on anything with his kids. I bring them to the office as often as possible. He'll take a break and have dinner with us. He plays with them before work when he can and he never goes to bed without kissing them goodnight. If the hours prevented him from doing those things, I guarantee he would give it up.

He also takes the lives of his coworkers very seriously. They all have a lot invested in how well the company does. Brad would never throw their hard work away because he feels he is set and has had enough. He also has the ability that noone I have ever met has for projecting what will happen in the future. That ability has kept the company alive in times when it really should have died. That ability helps him see the very bright light at the end of the tunnel and that helps keep him going.

We will be taking a family vacatin this spring and then we will be laying low this summer to enjoy the new baby. It is just hectic right now and there is no way around that. I more than anyone would love to see him just 'take a break' but I also know that just isn't possible at the moment.
on Feb 28, 2006
He also takes the lives of his coworkers very seriously. They all have a lot invested in how well the company does. Brad would never throw their hard work away because he feels he is set and has had enough.


I get the sense, from yours and his comments here as well as Brad's attentiveness to JU, that he is the type of person who feels responsibility and loyalty to others in a very acute way. He seems to be very dedicated to those whom he feels depend on him.

I can't imagine anyone who is "set" subjecting him or herself to the grief, stress, and HUGE time demands of a company's various projects otherwise.

I don't think so much work and pressure is healthy, though. I'd just take a vacation and handle *everything/everyone* like my kids...I'm taking a bath, leave me alone, and no one bother me unless something's on fire or someone's bleeding. Haha. But that's just me (which could be why I'm just a mom and don't own a company!).
on Feb 28, 2006
Draginol,

You may want to take my attitude with the ungrateful and self-inflated. Screw em. Ignore em or just plain ban em. Its your service you offer for free and let people pretty well use anyway they want. If they can't take a little down time now and then on a free service, then ask them, tell them or better yet make them move on. Just my 2 cents worth.
on Feb 28, 2006
I understand what it's like to run company's, being the sole stockholder, work 24/7, feel there's no time left in the day, not to mention the week, and the associated frustrations and demands that many can't comprehend. When it comes to customers and folks that lack social skills and or boundaries, I am with you 100%. I've been known to tell a customer to take his business elsewhere and to show a few disrespectful folks the door, and one the floor.

Although I don't use JU as much as others, it's a mighty fine gesture on your part. You've given JU a venue to speak out, not many people can say that. It's not much different then being a good parent. Funny thing about children, give them enough room and for sure, they will find your limit
on Feb 28, 2006

Sounds like you need to hire a high powered manager to whip some people in to shape.

nah...we have enough managers. We simply need more staff. We're low on programmers and web developers.

What?  NO engineers?  There goes my shot!

on Feb 28, 2006
Thanks for the free ride, and, as others have suggested, take a break. ( the wonders of a stolen weekend have saved my sanity and marriage more than once over the last 18 years)
The absolute best therapy I have ever participated in was deep sea fishing....10 hours on the open blue, rolling with the waves, fighting the determination of a Blue Marlin...ah cleansing.........
on Feb 28, 2006
People may feel like they have to be careful about what they say to you,


This has to be the most socially immature statement I've read here. Every person you encounter in life has limits.... including those that are offering you something for nothing. Ever hear of the statement, "know what side your bread is butter on"?
on Feb 28, 2006

IN all seriousness, I am very grateful of the site and your willingness to put it up (and put up with us) for us.  I am sorry that some people still cant get that through their heads.  I know I have crossed swords with you once, but knew enough that when you growled, to back off.  I have no problems with your 'arrogance' as you call it.  I doubt I have ever met a CEO (sucessful and even those not deserving of the title) that was not arrogant to a large degree.  It is natural.  You have done something that very few others have ever or will ever do.

I wish you well on your upcoming vacation.  As your wife attests, you work very hard, but you also know where the big priorities are, and that is the most important thing in my book.

Have a great rest when you can take it!  We will keep the fires burning here in your absense!

on Feb 28, 2006
Brad,

This site, and those of you who make it happen, are well appreciated from these quarters, at least. You and your staff have given me exposure far beyond what I could have realized on most blog sites. If I had the abilities to perform the tasks required for what is needed and was able to relocate, I'd be proud to work for your company.

I hope you can get some rest now that GCII is launched. You more than deserve it.

Oh, and don't take our comments from the "peanut gallery" too literally. Most of us appreciate you greatly.
on Feb 28, 2006
Wow and Wow! Gosh, I had no idea this went on. [pie in face for me but i'm ducking, so patooey!]

But seriously though, It's sad that this went on and even sadder the outcome.


I agree with the sentiments about being thankful for JU's services and the freedom you give us to vent, and chat and become "writers" Brad - I've said it before and I'm saying it again - Thank YOU!

And yeah, you DO need a vacation! 111 hours is not healthy mister! You're going to have to put the time in when the baby comes so get all the catnaps while you can! And yeah, take another trip to my part of the world and this time go to Busch Gardens!
on Feb 28, 2006
Draginol,

You may want to take my attitude with the ungrateful and self-inflated. Screw em. Ignore em or just plain ban em. Its your service you offer for free and let people pretty well use anyway they want. If they can't take a little down time now and then on a free service, then ask them, tell them or better yet make them move on. Just my 2 cents worth.


Wow, remind me not to get on your bad side.
on Feb 28, 2006
I don't expect a bunch of thank yous or appreciation. I just ask that people not treat me as if I'm supposed to be their customer service agent.


Come on Brad, your a business guy, of course you expected the thank you's and appreciations. Don't be so modest . You da man and that's the truth and just like ShadowWar said, screw them, even me. If I get out of line, don't hesitate. Just like those OfficeMax (or OfficeDepot) commerials, just have an "EASY" button laying around so that all you have to do is point the mouse at a name, hit the "EASY" button and voila! instant banning.
on Feb 28, 2006
And, oh yeah, where are my manners...I am appreciatve of what you have set up for us to enjoy, so thanks.
on Feb 28, 2006
And yeah, you DO need a vacation! 111 hours is not healthy mister! You're going to have to put the time in when the baby comes so get all the catnaps while you can! And yeah, take another trip to my part of the world and this time go to Busch Gardens!


I'll second Foreverserenity's motion!

It'll be really fun! The kids'll love it! And it's just up the street from where I'm living now. Literally - hang a right, drive for 3 miles, hang a left and Voila! My season's pass get's used again.

Seriously, thank you for this service that you offer. It may be your hobby, but that same hobby's become an obsession to others.
on Feb 28, 2006
Brad takes being a dad very seriously. There is nothing he regrets more than missing out on anything with his kids. I bring them to the office as often as possible. He'll take a break and have dinner with us. He plays with them before work when he can and he never goes to bed without kissing them goodnight. If the hours prevented him from doing those things, I guarantee he would give it up.


He sounds like a great dad Jill. My husband is kinda like this too. He is gone a lot but when he is home he is all about his family. He believes being the best provider he can be, and doing his very best at something he puts his hand too, both go hand in hand with being a good dad.

The kids miss him when he is gone, but they have no doubts about what is first in his life and heart.

I see kids everyday whose dads work 40 hours and are never gone and the kids are so hungry for attention its pitiful.

IMO, as far as dad's go, being a good provider and showing a good work ethic (along with being there of course) is all part of being a good dad.
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