Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
I'm not good enough
Published on June 18, 2006 By Draginol In Blogging

Family and friends who have been outdoors with me have commented/observed that I don't get mosquito bites.  That isn't to say mosquitos never bite me but it's pretty uncommon.  I've never had the pleasure of having a mosquito bite to scratch.

Now before someone thinks this is a conceit, consider what this means. Mosquitos don't think I'm good enough for them.  That's a level of rejection that, frankly, I'm not really able to handle well.

This weekend we went up north and me, my wife, and the kids were on this hamock. The wife and kids were getting bitten like crazy by mosquitos even though they had these weird ring things on their wrists that are supposed to do somethign about it. 

So finally I see a mosquito land on my leg.  My moment of triumph at hand. "Ha!" I yell to my kids and wife. "See, a mosquito just landed on me." But then it left.  THE DAMN THING LEFT! I haven't felt that rejected since my 84' Chevette got broken into and all my tapes were spread onto the seat and NONE of them were taken. I wanted to grab the little thing by its wings, stick it on my leg and scream "Suckle now, damn you!"

Which is why I name mosquitos as being nature's snobs. Goddam vermine that's actually picky about whose blood they'll drink.   That's why I like spiders better. I get spider bites. They know how to show the love.


Comments (Page 1)
on Jun 18, 2006
Moxquitos love me. I always say its because I'm so sweet. My husband is the same as you. I will be getting ate up and tell him I have to go inside and he acts like I'm crazy because he doesn't have one bite.

on Jun 18, 2006
Well, we share that in common. They don't seem to like me either, for which I've been thankful on many a camping trip when those around me were being devoured alive.
on Jun 18, 2006
I'm the same way, Brad, but I've never thought of it that way.

My feelings are hurt now.




Thanks for the laugh, amisdt a whole lot of silly drama on this site today.
on Jun 18, 2006

Wish they'd leave me the heck alone!  the mosquitoes I mean  

I get almost an allergic reaction to mosquito bites,  they're our state bird you know.

on Jun 19, 2006
Yeah, you should be upset. if you ever hit the malarial belt you'll never get the fun of being an insanely cheap drunk from the anti-malarials.
on Jun 19, 2006
Hahaha! This is hilarious, you should actually post it under the humour section, I loved it!
on Jun 19, 2006
I WISH mosquitos would snob me! It's so bad here in Italy. The other day Fabrizio and I spent about 30 minutes killing mosquites just in the kitchen! After that we just gave up, closed up the kitchen from the rest of the house and went to bed. It's crazy!

I prefer scorpins to spiders.
on Jun 19, 2006

Great story!

Mosquitos actually smell you and that is how they are attracted.  They especially like Banana eaters.  So your diet does play a big part in who gets bitten.  I am not as lucky as you, but they dont like me as much as they others around me.  But then I have been on a garlic binge lately!

on Jun 19, 2006
I could put some ticks on your office chair if that would make you feel loved- they'll drain blood from anything they can.
on Jun 19, 2006
Hahaha!!!
on Jun 19, 2006

Poor Brad didn't get to scratch himself raw all night every night of the weekend.  Doesn't everyone feel sorry for him

I keep telling him, the boys and I are just sweeter than he is.  I think it has to do with how much lemonade and vinegar he eats.  Mosquito love is one kind of love I would happily do without!

on Jun 20, 2006

I was going to ask if you have been eating alot of garlic brad. I have a theory that garlic eaters do not get bit as much.

on Jun 20, 2006
Funny stuff

I'm one of those unfortunate few who get bit hundreds of times every summer. Just the other night I went out to get something in the car, and our neighbor started talking to me. Five minutes later, I was back in the house with multiple mosquito bites. Seven on my legs alone.

I'm going to go with Loca and Jill's explanations for it. I'm just so damn SWEET!!

Another thing those "Goddam vermine" do is bite you in places you can't quite reach to scratch. I never did like "snobs.
on Jun 22, 2006
I know I'm really late to the party, but I had to respond because this was just so funny! You should write like this more often Brad, really comedic writing here!!
on Jun 22, 2006
I've heard that the reason that mosquito bites get big and itchy are because people are allergic to the anti-clotting stuff they inject you with, and that other people get bit but don't realize it because they don't have an allergic reaction. I found a few links that corroborate this:

http://science.howstuffworks.com/mosquito1.htm
http://www.drgreene.com/21_60.html

So maybe you do get bit, Brad, but you don't have an allergic reaction to them.
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