If the political media covered sports

Check this out.

Published on May 13, 2004 By Draginol In Politics

This was over at Right Wing News today. Thought it was hilarious. Here's an excerpt. Read the whole thing at the link below.

Dan Koppel: I'm your announcer Dan Koppel here with my co-hosts Peter Brokaw and Laurie Malkin. It's late in the third quarter and the Damascus Jihadis have the LA Lakers on the ropes. It has been a dominating performance by the Jihadis...

Peter Brokaw: You said it Dan! Nothing has gone right for the Lakers tonight and coach Phil Jackson's gameplan is the likely culprit. Do you agree Dan?

Dan Koppel: Absolutely! This whole game has just been an embarrassing travesty for Laker fans...

Laurie Malkin: Guys, I hate to disagree but the Lakers are leading 108-24...

Dan Koppel: Come on Laurie, show some professionalism and stop your mindless cheerleading for the Lakers...

Laurie Malkin: Ok Dan, what you need to understand is...

Peter Brokaw: OH MY, OH MY, OH MY! Karl Malone has fouled one of the Jihadis! That is his second foul of the game leaving with him with only four more to go before he fouls out!

Dan Koppel: This thing is over without Malone, I repeat OVER! If Malone fouls out, the Lakers are DOOMED to go down to ignominious defeat!

Peter Brokaw: Holy Moly, Yassir Bin Laden, point guard for the Jihadis has made his free throw! That's another point on the board for the Jihadis and a huge, huge, failure by the Lakers! Did I say HUGE failure?

Dan Koppel: Yes you did Peter and rightly so! It's Lakers ball again. They're going down the court and it's a pass to Shaquille O'Neal and as he dunks, he's fouled by Jihadi center Muhammad Al-Sadr who is out of the game with his 6th foul.

Laurie Malkin: Wow! That's Shaq's 15th dunk of the night!

Peter Brokaw: Yes, yes Laurie -- like anyone cares about how many dunks Shaq gets.

Dan Koppel: (Yawn) Oh, I'm sorry everybody, I was falling asleep hearing about Shaq's dunks. Like there's anyone in the audience who'd want to know about that.

Peter Brokaw: MY GOODNESS, Shaq has missed a free throw! Shaq! Has! Missed! A! Free! Throw!

Dan Koppel: How can these Laker fans be expected to sit through this type of drubbing Peter?

Peter Brokaw: I just don't know Peter, I just don't know....hey, wait a second! Jihadis small forward, Deir Atta, has run into a group of small children in the crowd, yelled something about "infidels", and has blown himself up! What a tragedy...

Laurie Malkin: Oh my God! What sort of psychopaths are these Jihadis?

Dan Koppel: Now Laurie, I didn't want to say anything, but earlier today as I was coming in the building I noticed that Gary Payton turned down a young Jihadi fan who requested an autograph. So can we really say that the Lakers haven't done anything just as bad as the Jihadis here today?

Comments

Gene Nash

on May 14, 2004

It's so true that it makes me want to cry, not laugh.

Saint Ying

on May 14, 2004

Racist, inaccurate, insensitive, and childish, among other things. Sorry, this is not a basketball game. We're not up against Jihadis, we're up against our own ignorance and failure to make the right moves. We simply cannot justify the prison abuse, or eliminate the damage that is has caused, by pointing to violence that is committed against us. Remember, we're supposed to be in this for the Iraqis, not for ourselves. Military might means nothing in this case. Driving them into the ground is counterproductive. Should we really take so much pride in the fact that we're stronger and that we're winning the 'death toll' war? Are we really such babies that we need to be constantly reminded by the media that we're #1, that we're big and tough, that we're victims and that our opponents are evil? I say to the people at right wing news, get a grip. We're in a game of chess for the trust and respect of the Iraqi people, and we've just lost our queen due to poor strategery. So what if we still have bigger gonads than they do. That's not what its about.

Madine

on May 14, 2004

What damage has the prison abuse caused, exactly?

Saint Ying

on May 14, 2004

The prison abuse scandal has damaged our reputation among moderates in the Arab and Muslim world, caused international embarrassment for the military and Bush administration, and played into the extremist position that America is a force of Satan. In short, we were caught with our pants down, which can never be a good thing if you're riding a moral highroad and pretending to represent something positive and progressive in Iraq. I'm not saying that there is a rational excuse for this damage to occur, but the images are very powerful things, and we'll be burdened by them for some time.

Draginol

on May 14, 2004

Saint Ying, I don't know if you meant to be a characterture of left-wing thought. Was that your intent? Your first response to satire is to call it "racist"? Is anything NOT racist? Oh wait, I'm sure you didn't find the beheading of somone simply because they happened to be an American to be racist. Only right-wing satirists rise to that level.

Here's something I suggest you write down: Murdering people is worse than damaging their self-esteem.

Saint Ying

on May 14, 2004

Draginol, I don't really care about self esteem. I don't particularly care about individual victims anymore either. That's what war does to you. You conservative nutwings are missing the point completely. The way people react to these images is out of the control of any government. What should not have been out of our control is the conduct of guards and soldiers in the prison system that included photographing lude acts of abuse. Think of it as 'reverse-propoganda' from the Americans. This was an enourmous strategic error for us, far more than the Berg murder was a strategic error for Al Quaida. When strategic errors occur in such a blatant and disturbing manner, they get media coverage. When strategic errors are also humanitarian errors, it becomes an even greater problem. When administrations preside over strategic error after strategic error, they are removed from office.

As for racism, I can't think of a better term for the 'lumping together' of diverse arab causes and interests that results in drivel like the thing you posted. Radical Jihadists from Syria are only one side of the story. Sadr is quite another, and the Sunnis are quite another. I honestly don't care if Al Quaida is racist or not. If we want to be better than them, we can't be racist... and we shouldn't have gone into Iraq misleading soldiers into thinking they were fighting terrorists or avenging 9/11.

Draginol

on May 15, 2004

Saint Ying: I realize that to you and your ilk the United States is the moral equivalent of terrorists. But consider this, Bush and his administration have repeatedly and profusely apologized for the POW incident even though they had nothing to do with it directly.

Can we expect Al Qaeda or its partner groups to apologize for cutting the head off an innocent person simply because he happened to be an American? (talk about racism but I guess only Americans can be racist).

Speaking of "racism", why is it that you left wingers are so lacking in debating ability that you have to throw out the term racism at every turn? Is it your crude way of trying to end a debate?

There is nothing racist in that article. Especially since many different races are involved, it's an absurd charge. There is something, IMO, deeply wrong with a significant part of the Islamic culture. And if you want to throw out the term, culturalist, then by all means, do so, I'm guilty as charged. I think there is something wrong with a culture that finds it acceptable, even heroic, to intentionally murder innocent bystanders in the name of some vague political goal. That part of Islam has become a culture of death and this satire (and let's bear in mind, it was a satire) summed it up nicely.

The difference between us is that I see wrongs by Americans as wrongs and wrongs by the Islamofacists as wrongs. By contrast, people like you highlight any wrong-doings by Americans while excusing the monstrous acts of terrorists.

Saint Ying

on May 15, 2004

There you go again, lumping everyone together with the terrorists. Islamic culture is a beautiful thing. Since you are such a devoted representative of personal responsibility, you should at least find they gray matter within you to place the blame for the most vicious and dispicable acts of terrorism on those who have committed those acts. NOT the Sadr Militia, not Saddam Hussein, not the moderates of Iraq.

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