Last month I wrote about the importance of friendship. I think for me the biggest reason why friendships matter so much is because I'm an only child. And not just an only child, the only-child of a single parent who grew up with no local extended family members for most of that time.

So for me, friends mean a lot. They're like family. And I don't mean that like a cliché.  People who have no brothers or sisters, for instance, simply cannot imagine the feelings associated with having them.  For me, there isn't that much distinction between family/friends. 

Ironically, my oldest friend who I hang out with on a regular basis has something like a dozen or two brothers and sisters. I work with him (his office is next to mine).  We've been friends since I was just getting out of junior high (which is a long time when you're in your 30s to be around someone you see every day). At some point in the distant past, he had crossed that threshold between being a friend and being equivalent to a family member.

But it goes beyond that.  Many of my "family" get togethers are with people who aren't genetically related to me at all. My Memorial Day / Labor day cookouts are always with the same group of people who are, effectively my aunts, uncles, and cousins even though we're not related at all. It's been that way since I was 5. When many of them were over at my son's birthday party last week, I didn't see them merely as friends but rather as part of my family.

That isn't to say I don't have strong feelings for my genetically related extended family members. My wife and I feel particularly close to my cousin and her husband. But growing up, with it just being my mom and I, friendships simply took on greater meaning.

Perhaps someone reading this who has lots of brothers and sisters and cousins that they see regularly will argue (correctly possibly) that I just don't understand the true meaning of family.  I can't say whether they're right or not.  To me, family is more than just genetic connection. Much more.

A good friendship, IMO, is one where you enjoy just being with your friends.  You don't have to be doing anything. Their mere presence makes the visit worthwhile.  I wonder if that is the same feeling people get when they're around their brothers and sisters. Of course, I wouldn't know.