Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
How to take a legendary show and wreck it
Published on December 8, 2003 By Draginol In Movies & TV & Books

Well that sucked.

Remaking Battlestar Galactica was always a risky proposition under ideal circumstances. But these circumstances weren't ideal due to a series of seemingly arbitrary changes that eliminated a lot of the good will of the original fans.

By arbitrary I mean making Star Buck a girl. Making Boomer a girl. Hey, if you want to have girl power, put in new characters. The biggest arbitrary and I believe ultimately disastrous change was making the Cylons creations of the humans.  Look, by the time we have that kind of technology, I think it's safe to say we'd be pretty damn careful about making them not turn on us. And if we're too stupid to keep that from happening then sign me up as the first Cylon slaveling. Good grief. It's been done.

But alienating the original series fans is only the beginning of this show's journey to drek. Let's list off the things that help make this show a fraction of what it might have been...

  1. Terrible directing. The camera work is awful.
  2. Unlikeable characters.  Star buck in the original was a funny and charming character. The new one is a bitch. Apollo was a good hearted soul. The new one is a spoiled kid. Boomer was a confident solid figure. The new boomer (now a girl) is just weak.
  3. Ruining the Cylons. Whether it be their ugly ships or their change of the infamous red signal light sound effect zipping back and forth (except on the ships) the Cylons suck. But having human like Cylons really takes the cake. Human enough that one could have sex with one and not know it? Think about that when you watch it. The Cylons apparently have technology to essentially create human beings and yet they're firing missiles. MISSILES.
  4. Bad science. The new show's creators bragged about how they wanted to be more realistic. The problem is that when you do that, you can't just pick and choose. This is especially bad when the parts where they attempted to be "realistic" make the combat scenes far less enjoyable.  For example, gone are the great dog fights because they wanted to have the "asteroids arcade game" type affect where little thrusters have to be fired to maneuver a ship. They also pick and choose which sounds we get to hear in space. This nonsense that there's no sound in space is foolish because it all depends on your perspective and your definition of what is "sound".  A whole article could be dedicated to that but let's bear in mind that piddly things like no sound in space (so battles are largely soundless and thus boring) are chosen while ignoring that we have ships traveling through interstellar space seemingly beyond the speed of light using rockets (next week we get to see "Hyperlight" apparently).
  5. Arbitrary choices of bad science.  So when there's an opportunity to make use of science to explain a bad special effect or a boring action sequence, they take it. But bear in mind, they have artificial gravity under control apparently. And the thing about that is, once you have artificial gravity, you might as well just toss out feeling obligated to put micro thrusters on ships for maneuvering. You can just channel gravity and move ships in precision dog fighting in space just fine. At least it makes things interesting.
  6. The story was incredibly plodding in pacing while jumpy. Bad editing?
  7. The ships are terribly ugly. One of the best things about the original was how massive a battlestar looked. The new one looks crummy. The ships are generally fairly crummy looking too. They should have stuck with the originals rather than making them look so video-game-ish.

All that said, if they had not called it Battlestar Galactica, I would say it's a decent, those mediocre sci-fi drama.  But when you have such excellent source material to work with, there's no excuse to have such drek as the result.

I would give this 2 stars out of 5.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Dec 09, 2003
I was hoping they would make this a prequel or side story of the original and not a re-hash. They would have so much more leeway with stories and new concepts.
on Dec 09, 2003
Well I liked the New Battlestar Galactica, at least it's better than watching B.S. sitcoms.
on Dec 09, 2003
I will agree that for the most part I'm pretty skeptical and have fallen into the habit of expecting the worse and seeing the worst. However, due to my memory of a horrible show that called itself Battlestar Galactica (I mean, it was bad even when it was in full swing), I couldn't expect much worse that the Final Fantasy movie (can't remember the title) that was pretty but was the worst cliche-fest ever made until that point. So I watched the 'new' BG I expected to waste my time.

I won't say I was pleasantly surprised, but I will state that it was better than I expected. Aesthetics aren't everything, and to be honest if they'd pretty'd everything up to current CG standards and made everything look good to popular sci-fi graphics I would have been put off. Rather than pretend the old models didn't exist, they cleaned them up and gave a legitimate reason for it. I don't mean that it's excuseable, but it's better than changing everything and giving no explanation for it.

One thing I've come to understand that almost any storyline done on tv (and on screen these days) has been done, and semi predictable is better than completely so. Some of the characters are formula, like lil' miss Starbuck manly-pants and petulant son-of-a-great-man Captain Lee. One thing I did like was the 'controversial' speach by the Commander that accepted blame for the Cylon war(s). He didn't cry, but almost did. I'm not a girly-girl, and chick flicks make me puke, so I know the line that's crossed when a man cries.

So, overall I will say that I'll be watching the next show. Why? It was better than I expected, there isn't much else on, and I'm in a boredom funk.
on Dec 09, 2003
We need an edit feature for posting comments. I hate it when I make mistakes and can't fix them!
on Dec 09, 2003
ah, the joys of never having seen the original series...


spoilers
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spoilers fool
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it was entertaining. a few touches i liked:
where else do you see a story where a baby gets its neck snapped? freaky...
i was expecting the scientist guy to pull a switcheroo with the lottery number.

anyone want to go into conspiracy theories and shout-outs as to why they choose the president to be number 43 in line of succession, and 47 to be the winning number?

it did seem weird that madam president thought an unarmed passenger ship and a damaged fighter that wasn't even manned could take on two cylon fighters. but no worries: i saw the commercial where there was that scene where the president and admiral were talking but hasn't appeared yet. kinda cuts down on the suspense.

for those who "loved" matrix revolutions we get even more electro-magnetic pulse fun.
on Dec 09, 2003
its not the originals, but I actually kind of liked it Visuals were nice were a tv mini series (this isnt a movie). I wont miss the rest

Oldies always look so good through rose tinted glasses dont they though?
on Dec 09, 2003
I thought it sucked like Revolutions. They both seemed to be going for "girl power". I felt like it tried to make up for unlikable characters and bad directing with shots of sex and gratuitous violence (snapping the babies neck). Sure other shows don't have characters snapping babies necks. You know why? It is totally unneccessary.

How anyone could find the first 15 or 20 mins of the show entertaining, I will never know. It was slow, tried to introduce too many characters at once and the camera work at their card game was sickeningly dizzying. I never saw the original or just can't remember it but I can't imagine it being worse.

I overall thought it looked like an episode of one of the fading branches of Star Trek rather than a new, exciting show.
on Dec 09, 2003
I think that for the most part the poeple that didn't like the show expaected to much either because they saw the orginal and they remember it as better than it really was or they just exspect better from shows nowday. What the people who saw the original show and those that did is that wheather you lke or not the show was chessey. It was the first show of it's time after Star Wars came out and it was only on for one season because they blew the budget.

All in all I thought the first show was decent aside from the reuse of names which I tact up to marketing. Sad as it is momey is the bottom line and they are trying to appeal to as many people as they can. If any of you are Babaylon5 an you will remember the first season of that was bad to. Bad acting bad sets just plain bad but it turn out to be one of the best space operas ever as far as I'm concerned.
on Dec 09, 2003
I found the directing and special effects and pacing to be terrible. That has nothign to do with the original. It was just mediocre entertainment.
on Dec 09, 2003
Honestly, I turned it off after about thirty minutes in. I was bored with it and had better things to do with my time but honestly, compared to alot of the shows out there it wasn't terrible. Compared to the original, it was almost likeable. I dunno, maybe I'm spoiled by Farscape and Babylon 5 and the like, but you look at the ORIGINAL Battlestar Galactica and it was...terrible. Granted, they had slightly more interesting characters in the original (can you say cookie cutter in todays? and completely predicatable) but it wasn't bad. Wasn't good enough to take me away but I'll probably tune in if its at a better hour to watch (say afternoons on the weekend when nothing else is on?)
on Dec 09, 2003
I was only half paying attention to the show when it was on. Overall it was better than I thought it would be but it was still "B-grade" in a lot of ways (directing, characters, editing etcetera).

"Sure other shows don't have characters snapping babies necks. You know why? It is totally unneccessary."--JillUser

I thought that was one of the best parts of the show. It was an excellent way to foreshadow what was about to happen to the rest of humanity.

There is good material there, so I will be keeping an eye on the show to see if it matures.
on Dec 10, 2003
Part 2 was somewhat better but man, they need a new director. The pacing..is...so....slow... And so much sex stuff on regular TV. I mean, are these guys that pathetic? That clueless? We live in an age where we can quickly access real good porn fast if we want. Every kissing scene is just a waste of time.
on Dec 10, 2003
"Every kissing scene is just a waste of time."

Amen!
on Dec 10, 2003
Well, fortunately for me, I never get my hopes up that anything on TV is going to be great, hell I try not to expect much of anything from TV or movies any more. This helps to keep my very analytical and cynical personage from being dissappointed. So my two cents on B G then new years.
Some one just did not get the story line from the first B G correct. Some points of note.
Baby neck snapping: Not necessary, ultimately true, but she did not look too happy about having done it. (Character Development)
Kissing: I wish they would quit. (Shows human emotion)
Sex with a Cylon: How else to you explain the idiot genius' traitorous actions (Bah! Humbug!)
Cinematography: They did say they were trying to make it look more like a guy with a camera standing in the middle of the action (Hell give me clean and Crisp camera work)
Selective audio: They went over buget again and could not afford to buy all the sounds. (Maybe not but it sounds better than they are stupid)
Girl power: No offense but I wish that Girl Power, right along with all the other Power movements would just go the hell away. (For crying out loud we get it already, we know you can do just as much as everyone else. Now quit whinning and do it.)

I hope I covered everything. As for the orrigional show, it sucked and I loved every minuite of it. I intend to watch every sucky minuite of this one too.......

Hob G.
on Dec 10, 2003
I agree- the new BG blew chunks! Aside from making Starbuck female, and COL Ty a drunk, the story started off bad. How can this be taking place 40 years after the end of the first Cylon war and none of the characters seemed to look 40 years older?? Maybe I missed something in the beginning. The original had Adama as the old, wise, commander of a ship. 40 years later, he should be a senior citizen!!
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