Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
Having fun going out with...my wife
Published on November 13, 2003 By Draginol In Personal Relationships

My wife and I have started dating again. By that I mean each other. Despite my attempts to stress to her that I'm a stallion and as a stallion I must roam and roam free, she still insists that I date only her. We've been having a lot of fun and it's amazing how much things have changed since when we dated before we got married.

12 years ago, which is about when we started dating, I drove a vette. A chevette but a vette none the less. Surprisingly, chicks weren't impressed by it. They weren't impressed by it's 0 to 60mph rating (eventual). They weren't impressed that I would take them to the literal king of hamburgers to eat. They weren't impressed by my modern sensibilities and belief in equality by insisting that we pay for our own meals.

My wife, or I should say my wife to be at the time, understood these things. Of course, she was a hick with a pick-up truck from a town that proudly boasts the second smallest free-standing McDonalds in the world (way to go!). Our dates were always conversation heavy. We have always liked to talk a lot. Violence has never been a major factor except when I uncontrollably exclaim "Wow, look at that chick! She's hot!" (Dating tip: Do not comment on how "hot" other females that walk by to your date. Follow-up tip: Don't ask "I'd do her! Would you?").

When we got married, we were still dirt poor. And I'm talking the yucky kind of dirt, not the store bought dirt (I just can't compete with that so I'd rather we not make comparisons that kind of dirt).  But over time, things have gotten a lot better for us. Both materially and spiritually. They say money can't buy happiness. I would disagree to a point -- money eliminates a source of potential arguments. Though in our case, we never argued about money even when we quibbled over who's turn it was to siphon gas out of the neighbor's gas tank. We're just both very frugal when it comes to money in the sense that we tend not to dissipate our earnings on little things but instead save for big things.  No  big screen TV, no stereo, no boat, no expensive jewelry in 10 years (wedding ring was last major purchase), etc. We just save up and buy big things like our home or...well our home mainly. We like creature comforts.

So getting back to dating, we have 2 small children and it's been really fun raising both of them (Marriage tip: Don't refer to your children as "Pets, but even better!"). But we haven't really gone out much. It's easy to look track of what each other is doing. For instance, apparently there is a machine nowadays that actually will wash the dishes for you! I kid you not. My wife showed it to me the other day along with telling me rumor of a laundry machine(s). But I suspect that's more myth than fact there.

But now each Wednesday we go out and get to date with some style. We can go out to nicer places where we don't have to order at a counter or from our car. We can even go to the movies during the non-Matinee (admittedly we haven't actually done this going to the matinee instead but I'm just saying we could). Going out on dates though lets us rekindle why we got together in the first place. Whatever that was. And talk about it. Well okay, actually we talk about all kinds of new things and still find each other's company incredibly enjoyable.

If you're married, I strongly suggest you find time to go out once a week with your spouse on a date. This is especially true if you have children (small children even more so). It makes a big difference and makes the rest of the week more enjoyable.

 

 


Comments (Page 1)
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on Nov 14, 2003
Man can I relate to this one and I completely agree on how important this is to a marriage. It's amazing how a little time out alone and away from the little ones can revitalize your relationship with one another.

Good stuff as always Frogboy ...
on Nov 14, 2003
"If you're married, I strongly suggest you find time to go out once a week with your spouse on a date."

Or better yet, don't go out. Sit and talk or spend time quietly doing something together that you both enjoy. And better still, do it every day instead of once a week.
on Nov 14, 2003
sorry I need an air sickness bag and quick.
on Nov 14, 2003
Abe, married for 10yrs with 2 small children. Once a week is much more realistic than every day. Do you have a preschooler? Do you have a child in school? I have boys. There is nothing quiet about being home with boys. Going out is my only hope of sitting to do anything.

You go Frogboy!
on Nov 14, 2003
"Do you have a preschooler? "

He is in 2nd grade now. Sorry if my post came off as being critical, I was just trying to support the idea of spending time with your spouse. My wife only works part-time and I rarely work over 45hrs a week, in addition our son is an introvert who has always been happy playing quietly by himself (like his parents).
on Nov 14, 2003
I've ben married twenty years. Back when I used to date, it was (a) to meet someone new and interesting, and ( to get laid. Dating my wife accomplishes neither of these goals.
on Nov 14, 2003
Unfortunately, Abe, most people do not have the luxury of spending "quiet time" together every day. Matter of fact, some of us hardly even see each other every day. My husband has been working second shift and I work a typical day job (well, *I* think it's typical). I give my husband a kiss goodbye at 6:30 am as I'm leaving for work (he's still sleeping) and he gives me a kiss goodnight at 1am when he gets home. Not a lot of "quiet time" is allowed during the week. We try to eek out a little time by ourselves on the weekends after the daughter is asleep, but that is all the time there is. Doing something together that we both enjoy is not really something that happens, either. My hobby os photography. His is drag racing. the only time those two merge is if I'm taking pictures of his racing stuff LOL. But, none of that diminishes the fact that we have a great marriage. You just have to find out what works for you and be realistic about "life".

But, I do agree, Frogboy, that it is good on the marriage to have "dates" when you can. It's nice to have that time together to look forward to. It's also nice to go out and see things that you normally wouldn't, or talk about things that you wouldn't with small ears around.

JillUser, "There is nothing quiet about being home with boys. " I can hear you with that one. Having an over-talkative, hyper, bouncing off the walls until she passes out 5 year old, I can't agree more!
on Nov 14, 2003
Lyn, sounds like your wife is a lucky, lucky lady. She's not new and interesting and you get laid whenever you want, why would you DATE her?
on Nov 14, 2003
Abe, to be honest, before we had our second child, my husband and I were happy staying home with our first child. He was always content to play quitely and we could take our eyes of him for quite some time without him destroying things. Then his brother came along. Not only is he a wild one, but he brought his brother out of his shell also.

Like KarmaGirl said, everyone needs to do what is best for them but you have to make sure you are still connecting. Don't just let the relationship that brought you together become a casualty of the day-to-day grind.
on Nov 14, 2003
I married the girl because I enjoyed spending time with her. Still do 20 years later. We regularly go out, usually to dinner which we love to do and gives us opportunity to talk and be together. Doesn't matter what we talk about, it's the connection that's important, not what's been said.

She's continually new and interesting and I get laid whenever she wants.
on Nov 14, 2003
Bravo Chef Garry. Your wife is a Truly lucky girl
on Nov 14, 2003
JillUser,

Were you being facetious? I wind her, I dine her, I treat her well, and I _don't_ get laid.

Early this year she was fired (I was going to say "laid off", but that phrase seems wrong in this context), and (on a scale of 1 to 10) her interest in sex has gone from 2 to -1. Doesn't seem to have affected her desire to buy useless crap on ebay, though.

I could quote Chef Garry, so long as "whenever she wants" means "once a decade."

Lyn
on Nov 14, 2003
Facetious should be my middle name (would be if my Dad had his way).

Yikes! 2 to -1! I hope my husband is reading. He says we should be at a 5 times a week minimum.
Maybe you should check out Ebay for yourself. I heard there are German women on there

I apologize to anyone who knows us that might be emotionally damaged by the content of this comment. Just go to your happy place.
on Nov 14, 2003
"Unfortunately, Abe, most people do not have the luxury of spending "quiet time" together every day."--KarmaGirl

If they don't have the time it's because of choices they have made, and that's fine. However, they can always choose to arrange their lives differently if what they truely desire is to have more time together.
on Nov 14, 2003
Really it should be getting laid 7 times a week but 5 times is acceptable I suppose. For old people.
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