Empathy is a strange thing. Someone with empathy can read in a lot from someone from what they write on an IRC channel.  But someone short in empathy can meet someone, read what they write, and still not have any idea what makes that person tick. Learning you lack empathy is an important first step to trying to develop it.  I know because for most of my life, I lacked empathy.

Developing empathy is critical to success in business. It's absolutely critical in managing a company and it's important in marketing and sales.  In managing people, trying to learn what motivates them is important. In the last month or two, we've started even giving our people personality tests. Kind of a empathy cheat sheet in order to better meet their needs. But no test can substitute for empathy. It is something I've worked on for the past few years to get better at.

One way to determine whether you're strong in the empathy department is being have to meet someone or read what they've written and get a "rough" idea of what makes them tick. On another thread, a user came on and grossly misjudged what type of person I am.

He argued I was a particular personality profile called INTJ. He said that the following description probably "fits me to a letter".

loner, more interested in intellectual pursuits than relationships or family, not very altruistic, not very complimentary, would rather be friendless than jobless, observer, values solitude, perfectionist, detached, private, not much fun, hidden, skeptical, does not like most people, socially uncomfortable, not physically affectionate, unhappy, does not talk about feelings, hard to impress, analytical, likes esoteric things, pessimistic, not spontaneous, discontented, guarded, does not think they are weird but others do, responsible, insensitive to the misfortunes of others, orderly, clean, organized, familiar with darkside, does not value organized religion, suspicious of others, lonely, rarely shows anger, punctual, finisher, prepared

Favored Careers
scientist, dictator, forensic anthropologist, systems analyst, philosopher, nuclear engineer, political analyst, researcher, statistician, scholar, research scientist, computer scientist, software designer, curator, computer programmer, aerospace engineer, electrical engineer, paleontologist, english professor, philosophy professor, chemical engineer, epidemiologist, forensic scientist, museum curator, research assistant, mechanic, astronomer, figher pilot, librarian, systems administrator, neurosurgeon, book editor, biotechnology, archeologist, lab tech, bookstore owner

Now, before I tell you what I actually came up with on said personality test, how many people, even if you've not met me, but have been around me in the "virtual" sense for some time would agree that the above description fits me? I suspect not many.

I don't have infinite faith in personality profiles. But I do find them to be pretty accurate. Here is the profile I matched after taking the test: ENTJ:

decisive, fearless, planner, thrill seeker, engaged, social, comfortable around others, image conscious, likes to be center of attention, adventurous, outgoing, emotionally stable, leader, ambitious, hard working, dominant, prepared, hates to be bored, confident, opinionated, analytical, prepares for worst case scenarios, organized, orderly, clean, driven, resourceful, finishes most things they start, achieving, risk taker, desires fame/acclaim, image focused, perfectionist, driven

Favored careers:

marketing specialist, government employee, lawyer, developer, political scientist, bounty hunter, international relations specialist, software designer, systems analyst, business manager, entertainment lawyer, foreign service officer, strategist, project manager, advertising executive, cia agent, marketing manager, geneticist, private investigator, administrator, business analyst, politician, management consultant, producer, financial advisor, entrepreneur, genetics researcher, cardiologist, professor, fbi agent

This is what the test came up with after I took it.  But does any of this really come as a shock? Favored careers: Developer, Political Scientist, Software Designer, Business Manager, Marketing Manager, Entrepreneur.  A little bit better than "Philosophy Professor"? Or "Museum Curator"?

I am not arguing that one profile is better than another -- just that one matches my personality dramatically closer.   The thought provoking part is how someone could be so certain of their personality profile guess of me and yet be so completely wrong? That's a problematic combination - missing social empathy with dogged certainty. 

Even without the benefit of strong empathy, if someone wanted to get an idea of what kind of person I am (or am not) my articles make some things clear -- I'm married. I have kids. I like having kids. I like being around people. I like interacting with people. I'm not very private (I run a freaking blog site for crying out loud). So how someone, even without meeting me, could possibly conclude that I'm the "INTJ" profile is astounding.

Empathy is an important trait. If you observe other people and try to understand their motivations, their concerns, and their goals it does make it easier to be successful in interacting with them.  My own track record in that area is spotty. Being an eNTj profile has its downsides.  As a business skill, especially in medium to large companies (or in sales and marketing) empathy is very crucial to success. 

So if you find yourself not having a lot of empathy, work on it.  Next to personal self-discipline, empathy is the most important element for career success.