Got this in an email today. Thought you'd get a kick out of it:

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

8:00 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite

9:40 AM - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 PM - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 PM - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 PM - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 PM - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 PM - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!



EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

Day 183 Of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit.

The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with
them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
wait, it is only a matter of time