Chip on the shoulder motivation

New power source?

Published on September 13, 2004 By Draginol In Personal Relationships

If you're reading this and you're in high school then let me tell you something: Those aren't the best days of your life.

My high school days were hellish for me. But I wouldn't have it any other way. They gave me a healthy chip on my shoulder. Sure, it's negative, it's ugly, and whatever. But it motivated me to work harder to succeed in life.

Since I was of the nerd class in high school, far down in the food chain and made to feel unworthy, there's a certain satisfaction at being successful in life. Success as in happiness, wealth, home life, future prospects, health, etc. But it didn't come easily. It took a lot of hard work over a long period of time. And I'm not ashamed to admit that part of the motivation to do that work was to right the injustices (real and imagined) of those earlier years.

So next time someone says that those are the best years of your life, pity them. They're not.

Comments (Page 1)

The Crusaders

on Sep 14, 2004

Draginol,

So next time someone says that those are the best years of your life, pity them. They're not.

But they should be.....for every child ....

I had a pretty damn good childhood.....and I'm not trying to rub it in for anyone who didn't .......but it was the best time of my life ....I just didn't realize it so much at the time....but in glorious hindsight it was....
Growing up is difficult for everyone but some people do get it harder for whatever reason in whatever aspect..

It would be nice if, as adults, we could spend more time teaching kids how to be accepting, tolerant and a compassionate part of society.... not only as parents but perhaps in school where a lot of problems begin. I think it is a subject as important, if not more so, as the curriculum in schools today.

I know you feel your healthy chip on the shoulder helped you to work harder for what you have achieved, Draginol, but really, wouldn't you have preferred to live a happy carefree life every kid should experience......we get enough chips on our shoulders manouvreing through adulthood.
Well ...I wish you did and I hope oneday it will be a reality for every child.

Doomagoth

on Sep 14, 2004

Well ...I wish you did and I hope oneday it will be a reality for every child. Not going to happen..its tougher than ever for kids..gangs..guns..heavy drugs ect.Its good to get a thick skin and have a never say die attitude. Its not peace and love and flowers ..the world is brutal.

citahellion

on Sep 14, 2004

But they should be.....for every child ....

Why?? Childhood itself (perhaps 3-12) should be one of the best chunks of your life, being happy, having fun, protected from the world. Teen years are for maturing, which is never an easy process and should not be sugar-coated out of some misguided desire to continue protecting the child from the world forever. Yeah, it may suck, but it's a very important learning experience.

College, on the other hand, could also certainly qualify as some best years of your life. Out on your own, new experiences, defining yourself, etc.

KarmaGirl

on Sep 14, 2004

The best years of my life have been after I grew up, got married and had my child. I can't say that school could compare to that. Yeah, it was "fun" but not the "best days of my life".

I had a good childhood and fun in school, but it doesn't compare to my life now.

Draginol

on Sep 14, 2004

I feel sorry for you, Crusader if high school were your finest hours. High school lasts 3 years, 4 tops. If those are your peek, then that's really pretty sad.

I had a great childhood. High school wasn't fun but up until then (and after) it was great. But "best" years? No way. Heck, any random day of college was better than high school or childhood.

But I'm speaking specifically of high school here which many former jocks and cheerleaders look back as their golden age.

dharmagrl

on Sep 14, 2004

In my experience, people who say that HS was 'the best years' are usually people who haven't gone anywhere or done anything much with their lives. They're the proverbial big fish in a little pond - HS was the best time because then they were somebody, not just another face in the crowd.

I hated HS. I was the dork, the nerd, the un-athletic, un-cool kid. I talk to some people who I went to school with, and it makes me laugh to see where the 'cool' kids are now...fat, married, 4 or 5 kids, no job, no prospects, no nothing. Still in the same town, living in the same place...stagnant.

I'm so glad I got out.

Draginol

on Sep 14, 2004

Exactly!

Draginol

on Sep 14, 2004

BTW, tahnk you for the postcard!

dharmagrl

on Sep 14, 2004

BTW, tahnk you for the postcard!

You're welcome!

JillUser

on Sep 14, 2004

I enjoyed HS but don't know any teenagers that felt "care free". If you didn't suffer from peer pressure, you usually had what you were going to do after HS on your mind. I took HS far too seriously. I was so worried about what my app for college was going to look like that I didn't enjoy the time as much as I should have.

I was a Jack of everything but Ace of nothing. I felt a lack of direction until I met my husband. I can honestly say that the best years of my life have been the 12 or so I have had with him. Don't get me wrong, I had a very happy childhood but nothing compares to the joy of spending every day with your soul mate and the children you created together.

Texas Wahine

on Sep 14, 2004

Don't get me wrong, I had a very happy childhood but nothing compares to the joy of spending every day with your soul mate and the children you created together.

That is absolutely beautiful, Jill.

MarcieMoo

on Sep 14, 2004

Dragin~

Right on!

The Crusaders

on Sep 14, 2004

Draginol,

I feel sorry for you, Crusader if high school were your finest hours. High school lasts 3 years, 4 tops. If those are your peek, then that's really pretty sad.

I guess what I was trying to say came out all wrong again...

okay....highschool was not the best time of my life......but in hindsight it wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time.........So, Draginol, don't feel sorry for me....I just communicated what I was trying to say the wrong way!!

The best time in my life....the last four years since our son came into our lives......

I hope oneday it will be a reality for every child. Not going to happen..its tougher than ever for kids..gangs..guns..heavy drugs ect.Its good to get a thick skin and have a never say die attitude. Its not peace and love and flowers ..the world is brutal.

The world is brutal because we allow it to be that way....not because it's just the way things are....WE allow it....WE are not trying hard enough to make things better for future generations.....and perhaps some people are bitter and don't want to make it easier for future children...why shoud we ....I had it hard ...buggered if I'm going to sacrifice to make it easier for kids I don't even know.... kids who aren't even born yet!!

Why?? Childhood itself (perhaps 3-12) should be one of the best chunks of your life, being happy, having fun, protected from the world. Teen years are for maturing, which is never an easy process and should not be sugar-coated out of some misguided desire to continue protecting the child from the world forever. Yeah, it may suck, but it's a very important learning experience.

I disagree....Why oh why do we feel that a learning experience needs to be hard...painful..... for it to have any effect on us....some of the most important things I have learnt in life have been from a positive experience. And Yes...teens years are never an easy experience....but why do we insist on ensuring they are harder than they need to be.....And I don't mean to protect these teenagers as they come into their own ....wrapping them in bubble wrap....but why can we not expell more energy to ensure they have the guidance and direction from us...their elders... who have been there already ...rather than letting them find the pitfalls and traps by themselves and prolong the negative attitude we have created in our world.

Look...I'm sorry if I upset anyone...I did not intend to.....
I just would love a world where EVERYONE was happy...I think we can stubbornly cling to the way things are because of the security in the familiar ...
and as we do the chance for a better world passes us by.

The Crusaders

on Sep 14, 2004

Um...sorry to take up more space....I just had to come back and explain something about myself....before you all got the total wrong impression........ I can understand why you would that's why I feel a need to explain myself a little....

I am not that oh so sickly, positive, smily person jumping in your face telling you how good life is...when it's not....
I am the person sitting quietly in the background listening to others and taking it all in....I'm a little more vocal here because I find communicating through writing a much easier way for me...that's all.
I have not had a perfect life....it has been very hard and tragic at times....
I have not always been positive about life and where we are going in our future ......
...but when I had our son....things changed...a lot ....I want to do all I can in my power to make his life....which includes the world he lives in...a beautiful place to grow ...not only for him but for every child ...as they deserve it.....and I know I can't change the world dramatically into a paradise for everyone...but that wont stop me from trying to make some sort of effort to make it even a little better than it is..

So, when you here me being positive about life...that is not the whole of me....and please don't have an image of a goody goody smile on her dial 24/7...wants to save the world or make you vomit in the process.....
I look for the positives because I have to...for my son.....for he is my world.

citahellion

on Sep 14, 2004

Why oh why do we feel that a learning experience needs to be hard...painful..... for it to have any effect on us

It doesn't NEED to be hard and painful, but the teen years in particular are going to be hard and painful pretty much no matter what. Yes, of course we as parents should do all we can to help our children through these times, and sure, we will try to protect them from some things (gangs, drugs, etc.).

So, insofar as you're saying that a lot of things about being a teen are tougher than they need to be, sure, I'll agree with that to a certain extent. But insofar as you've stated that the teen years "should be [the best years of your life]", I disagree. I don't even think that they CAN be the best years of your life for the vast majority of people. Adolescence is where you start coming into your own, forming your adult personality, learning a lot of stuff about how the world really works and what you'll be doing in it. It's a huge, important transition, and transitions are never fun or easy. If the teen years are the best of your life, then you didn't mature properly during them.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!