Listening to the arguments on gay marriage

Respecting the rights of the majority

Published on February 5, 2004 By Draginol In Personal Relationships

The United States is premised on the separation of church and state. But over time, what that separation means has changed. The founding fathers wanted to ensure that people were free to practice whatever religion they wanted. Moreover, they wanted to ensure that the government did not establish any official religion. You will regularly hear the ACLU refer to the "establishment clause" of the US constitution as the basis for their various lawsuits against states.

It's a sticky situation because for such a long while, the percentage of Americans who were Christians were so high that religious concepts made their way into government policy. This wasn't intentional in most cases. If you're a true believer many things that are religious in nature just seem natural, common sense, normal. One such thing is marriage.

In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea for the government to recognize marriage as anything beyond a civil union. But it's easy to understand why this happened. Marriage is such a normal part of human life that how could the government not recognize it? As an agnostic, it's never bothered me either way. I am comfortable with my beliefs and do not feel threatened by people's religions. In fact, I embrace their beliefs because it helps create a deep tapestry of culture that enriches us all.

I also believe in two social principles: 1) That the traditions of the super-majority should be respected and protected. 2) The rights of the minority should be protected.

I think government should get out of the marriage business entirely. I support the right of any two people to "get married" regardless of sex. However, the super majority don't think the government should recognize these unions. And by our constitution, that's pretty much that. Marriage isn't a "right". The 10th amendment makes pretty clear that anything not explicitly outlined in the constitution is left to "the people" (in the form of their democratically elected representatives).

That said, gays should have access to civil unions that have the same legal punch as marriage. It may seem like semantics but to millions of Americans, it's not. There is a principle involved here. The same people who argued that the Super Bowl nonsense with Janet Jackson was "no big deal" are likely to not see why people object to gay marriage. The majority of Americans believe in these traditions and they have been with us for literally thousands of years. All around us, however, small minorities seem bent on using the government to infringe on those traditions. Marriage is a cultural phenomenon, not a religious one. And as long as the majority of Americans practicing it believe it should be between a man and a women exclusively that is what it should be. It's their tradition. Contrary to what some may believe, majorities have rights too.

The government should work to ensure that civil unions have the same legal meaning as marriages. Two consenting adults, regardless of sex, should have the right to form a legal union. For that matter, I believe that any number of consenting adults should be able to form civil unions (whether you're into "Polyamory" or whatever). But marriage should not be open for redefinition by a small minority of people. And they should not be trying to use the tools of government to hijack it for their own uses.

Comments (Page 11)

151

r. vaczy

on Mar 10, 2004

Respecting the rights on the majority is something that has gone missing here in American over the past years as a slew of fringe minority groups try and exploit the law and goodwill of the people and the courts for their own agenda. We need to respect the desire of the masses in some cases and to the extent that this protects and enforces the heritage of our country (and all the world and its religions) we have an obligation to do so. Otherwise other fringe minorites will be able to foist their agendas and, e.g., pass a recently approved legislation is the California Assembly to establigh trans-gender bathrooms in public schools and facilities.

on Mar 10, 2004

on Mar 11, 2004

Marriage is not a cultural phenomenon, it is a religious one. It is only in the last few hundred years that people choose to marry for "love". Prior to that marriage was about gaining or protecting property and land rights. The issue of gay marriage falls under the Fourteenth Amendment. If you recognize the marriage of two heterosexuals LEGALLY (which is what marriage is), then you must also LEGALLY recognize the union of two homosexuals. Otherwise, you have not provided those homosexuals equal protection under the law, which violates the Constitution. The bottom line is -- gay marriage is a lot like flag burning. You may not agree with it morally, but you have to agree with someone else's right to do it.

To argue that homosexual marriage diminishes the value heterosexuals place on marriage is ridiculous. If it is such a sacred institution, why do so many marriages end in divorce? To argue that homosexual marriages will exploit a health or life insurance plans is ridiculous. What is to keep heterosexuals who do not love each other from entering into this "sacred union" and exploiting the system?

154

Ariélle

on Mar 12, 2004

Gays and Straights are equal, but hey, they are different. Two men or Two women getting "married" IS different than a man and a woman...People are so afraid to be "politically correct" these days that they actually have reverse discrimination. In the attempt to make everyone equal, people are doing a pretty bad job of pretending people aren't DIFFERENT. I agree with a civil bond, yes. marriage no. In hospitals, someone who is homosexual can't visit their partner in the hospital, even when they're dying b/c they aren't family. this is awful, and for this reason, a "civil bond" should be allowed.

on Mar 12, 2004

on Mar 12, 2004

In the attempt to make everyone equal, people are doing a pretty bad job of pretending people aren't DIFFERENT.

I believe the attempt to treat everyone equally, at least under the law, is an objective, or at least an ideal, of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

157

lisa

on Mar 14, 2004

I agree that the concept of "marriage" has nothing to do the the idea of separation between church and state. I also stand behind the notion that marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman; always has been and HOPEFULLY always will be. Although I am forward thinking with most things, this is a tradition that can not and should never be overlooked. There's nothing more to say. Have your "civil union", but marriage is for man and woman and for no one else.

158

BulbousHead

on Mar 14, 2004

agree that the concept of "marriage" has nothing to do the the idea of separation between church and state. I also stand behind the notion that marriage is a sacred bond between man and woman

You contradict yourself; if it is "sacred," then, by definition, it has something to do with religion.

Although I am forward thinking with most things, this is a tradition that can not and should never be overlooked.

It's not being overlooked. How does conducting a homosexual marriage in any way degrade the quality or nature of present or future heterosexual marriages? Can anyone answer me that?

There's nothing more to say.

Sure there is, including "YOU ARE WRONG AND BACKWARD." It's not case-closed because you say so.

159

psychx

on Mar 14, 2004

It's not being overlooked. How does conducting a homosexual marriage in any way degrade the quality or nature of present or future heterosexual marriages? Can anyone answer me that?

Religion = ban on gay marriages
Simply put, it probably won't affect heterosexual marriages but religious views forbid it and most of us come from a somewhat religious background. I think all this focus and controversy is beyond ridiculous. Why should we focus on something so trivial when we have problems like war and poverty, death and disease, global warming, and nuclear proliferation? The worst part is it's obviously media-driven and anything that is media-driven always ends up fogging up the real important issues like the deficit, unemployment, and outsourcing. In my mind gay marriages take a back seat to real problems but it's a little harder to convey that message to the general public that act like mobs out to lynch homosexuals. To me all this controversy is stupid and trivial and can be put to the side for the moment considering the problems we are facing, this is all I will say for now on the matter feel free to disagree.

160

Aleisha

on Mar 25, 2004

I am a sophomore doing a debate on this topic and I found that this article has helped me. Although, I am for gay marriage, the argument about marriage itself being so like civil unions was something I could agree on.

161

Jeff Workman

on Mar 25, 2004

"Hey, by law my beliefs are protected, so you..over there..STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING..it isn't MY Belief, so feck off and stop or we're going to court!"..

that has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I mean, who is the one telling people to stop because it is not what we beleive in? I don't see the gay people telling the straight ones to stop marrying... n, it is jsut the other way around. And it is not like majority rule always does the right thing. If we always went by majority rule, we may still have black slaves or all be catholic. The idea is to give people the right to do whatever they want, so long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. If I marry a man, how am I infringing your right to marry who you choose? My god, lay off, let people be.

162

messybuu

on Mar 25, 2004

If I marry a man, how am I infringing your right to marry who you choose? My god, lay off, let people be.

Same way that incest, bestiality, polygamy, etc. supposedly infringe on people's rights. Also, nobody's telling homosexuals to stop being homosexuals or to be slaves or even to stop marrying each other (albeit marriages that aren't recognized as real marriages, but can be recognized as civil unions with the same exact benefits as marriage), so to compare the whole gay marriage argument to slavery and religious freedom is silly.

163

Katie

on Mar 28, 2004

You say you must respect the rights of the majority, what about protecting the rights of the minority?

164

G.P. Flores

on Mar 29, 2004

I read your article and noticed the line, "And as long as the majority of Americans practicing it believe it should be between a man and a women exclusively that is what it should be." That means that when a majority of people thought that blacks should go to a seperate school, then we should have kept it that way. and when a majority of americans thought that women didn't need to vote, that it should have also been kept that way. Why don't you tell us your real issue with this, instead of resorting to what equates to mob mentality? Oh, and I may be mistaken but the the last time I checked, America was only 228 years old. So by saying, "The majority of Americans believe in these traditions and they have been with us for literally thousands of years.", really makes me wonder what kind of schooling you had, unless you were refering to the Native Americans who have been here for thousands of years. But youd still be wrong because they looked upon the homosexuals in their ranks as being blessed by not one, but two spirits, and held them in very high regard.

165

Draginol

on Mar 29, 2004

Quick history lesson:

Slavery was abolished via voters. Not judges.

Women received the right to vote via voters. Not judges.

You want gay marriage to be legal - then make your case and convince the majority of Americans of the validity of your position.

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