Brad Wardell's views about technology, politics, religion, world affairs, and all sorts of politically incorrect topics.
On-line griefers so bad you just wanna punch 'em in the nose!
Published on March 25, 2004 By Draginol In Usenet Discussions

Before there were blogs there was Usenet and before Usenet there were BBSes. And from the very start, there have always been hyper-aggressive people who take out their own personal frustrations on the world at large.

There aren't many of them, but there doesn't have to be. Just the few that are out there are enough to bring grief to other people. Being on-line as much as I am, using my real name, has made me a target of griefers over the years. When I ran BBSes 15 years ago, I occasionally had to deal with them. Sometimes they'd go after me. Sometimes they'd just sit around like a trap door spider waiting to suck the fun out of the lives of those who were unfortunate enough to encounter them.

My friend Pat, T-man (who is the genius in charge of this site's back end), has had similar experiences. One time, a griefer went too far and T-man went to his house and yanked him out the door and made it clear that there'd be real world consequences for that.

We were a lot younger then and obviously one cannot simply go and find these griefers and punch them in the nose. But boy, it's tempting sometimes. On usenet I've had people accuse me of everything from being gay to being a convicted child molester. Griefers get it down to a science knowing which buttons to push. They always seem to have an inordinate amount of time.

At various net gatherings, I've met these griefers. Of course, they weren't "griefing" me (or they wouldn't have come). But of the dozen or so griefers I've met in real life, it's always the same story: They're cowards. And I mean pathetic cowards.

Griefers aren't just detractors. They are people who intentionally go out of their way to try to upset other people. They actually do things, on purpose, just to make someone else unhappy. It is as if they are trying to absorb the happiness of others through delivering grief like some sort of parasite trying to cure their own miserable lives.

In my experience, griefers fit a very particular psychological profile:

First, they are nearly always male. I don't think I've ever met a female griefer in all my years (there's plenty of female net personalities I've encountered I didn't like but none of them intentionally went out of their way to bring pain to others for seemingly no reason).

Secondly, they're nearly always single. Which I guess isn't very surprising.

Third, they come in two major groups. The first group are the teens/young adults who practice petty evil. The kind of people who would kill a small animal for no particular reason. Petty evil. They are fairly common. An under-developed sense of empathy. They're usually physically weak. It's as if they are trying to get back at the world for all the wedgies they get at school. Momma's boys.

The other group though, at the risk of bieng politically incorrect, tend to be 45 to 55 year old white single men living on disability. Yea, I know, pretty specific. Not always are they on disability. The key ingredient are bitter men with an extensive amount of free time on their hands. They are usually quite sad. Almost Golumnesqe in their pitifulness. I usually encountered this kind at User Group meetings when I'd be demonstrating something. They wouldn't say a word to me. But I'd later see them on-line just making the lives of others miserable.

Whereas younger griefers tend to hang out on forums and in on-line games, the latter tend to show up on Usenet or spend their time terrorizing some hapless technical support person. The younger ones are brief and not subtle at all. The older ones write amazingly lengthy, vile, and kook-like diatribes.

The length and detail are how you can distinguish the young griefers from the older ones. It's all about quantity for the young griefer. Older ones focus on quality. Singling out a target and making it their mission in life to try to bring "someone down a notch or two". Writing book-like diatribes about things that have nothing to do with them. That are about unimportant things. Things that cause onlookers to wonder "I wonder what they might have made of themselves if they put their hateful energy into something constructive?" 

Regardless of the age, griefers are cowards. I mean that in the literal sense. You meet them in person and they are quiet, introverted, passive. Easily bullied and dominated by those around them. But secretly, quietly, they build their resentment of those around them into a little black ball of hate and spew it out onto the Internet. If they're going to be miserable, why shouldn't others? Maybe if they can make someone else miserable, it will make themselves not feel so pathetic in comparison.

Those of us who run net communities come to look for the type and put in safe-guards as early as we can. Since griefers are cowards, they quickly flee if they believe their power base is gone. That is why the older ones tend to live in the sanctuary of Usenet and the younger ones simply move from game to game, from fan site to fan site, from on-line community to on-line community. There are always ample targets for them to take out their pain on.

When you write an article, try to imagine that you are talking to that person there. Since I use my real name and can be "found", I have long made it my policy to imagine myself saying this in a crowded pub. If I'm not willing to say it to someone's face, I won't say it. It's advice that I highly recommend to others.

Still...even if I understand them, it is hard not to be tempted to retaliate against one's cowardly on-line tormenter. Because they would never say the vile things they write in person, in public.


Comments (Page 2)
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on Mar 26, 2004
Poet, I hate to be the one to break this to you but your on-lie persona is not a very likeable one in my opinion. Not likeable enough to avoid griefers.  I think you just haven't been on-line enough. Griefers aren't that common.
on Mar 26, 2004
Brad, you should have left him his innocence;) Most griefers feel pretty ridiculous when nobody responds. Unfortunately, that rarely happens.

~Dan
on Mar 26, 2004
I'd rather these griefers vented online as opposed to summoning up that black ball of hatred and turning guns onto innocent bystanders. Call me kooky.
These are the type of people who never get help in real life regarding the issues that drive them to the point of tearing someone else down for their own self-esteem.
I'm not jusitifying or advocating the behavior but I can emphathize enough to know where the problem is coming from. It isn't our job to solve the problems, either.

"Regardless of the age, griefers are cowards. I mean that in the literal sense. You meet them in person and they are quiet, introverted, passive. Easily bullied and dominated by those around them. But secretly, quietly, they build their resentment of those around them into a little black ball of hate and spew it out onto the Internet. If they're going to be miserable, why shouldn't others? Maybe if they can make someone else miserable, it will make themselves not feel so pathetic in comparison."

I'd like to also point out that people in all walks of life, of all ages, all races, demonstrate the same attitude but in real life. That doormat introvert may not be the griefer online that they are hadn't it been for the extrovert griefer in real life venting. Crap rolls down hill and it has gotta go somewhere. A very interesting thing to talk about.
Are people as nice and friendly as they protray in real life (or the internet) or are they just afraid of the consequences of what would happen if they spoke their mind? (Or gave people crap simply because they could) Here on the 'net, anonymity allows people to speak what's deep inside without much (if any) fear.

I think, if anything, online griefers (especially the ones you point out, Brad) experience a powershift of sorts. With a higher than average IQ, your 'strong' mind can easily overcome the fraility of a common moron, especially when physical threats are illrelevant. The Internet, the battleground of the...uh, what's politically correct these days? Mommaboy griefers? Mental bullies! Nasty people.

I am a bully. I pick on those who pick on others.

Like I said I'm not encouraging bad behavior or saying it is acceptable. Just that it is an outlet for some who have no other means. I'd rather be called a nasty word online than two bullet holes to my chest.
on Mar 26, 2004
Regardless of the age, griefers are cowards. I mean that in the literal sense. You meet them in person and they are quiet, introverted, passive. Easily bullied and dominated by those around them. But secretly, quietly, they build their resentment of those around them into a little black ball of hate and spew it out onto the Internet. If they're going to be miserable, why shouldn't others? Maybe if they can make someone else miserable, it will make themselves not feel so pathetic in comparison.

I am kind of naive when it comes to griefers, never encountering anyone that actually attacked me to the point where I was angered and or took it personal. Do these griefers attack people any other way online other than just posting an article against that person?
on Mar 26, 2004
Brad's articles are the only "long ones" that I can bear to read to the end.

It must be that he makes few-to-no grammar o spelling mistakes, his sentences are short, and he writes in paragraphs.

Some of you out there who have never heard of a "Return-key" should keep this in mind when reading Brad's articles, and then apply it when writing your own.
on Mar 27, 2004
Brad's articles are the only "long ones" that I can bear to read to the end.

Did this comment have anything to do with anything? I agree of course, but it was a bit tangential.

~Dan
on Mar 27, 2004
Jamie
Stop
being

a
griefer

return
return


return
on Mar 27, 2004
Well My job on this planet is to piss off each and every person one at a time..LOL
on Mar 27, 2004
I was a griefer (cheater) in CounterStrike for a while. I got tired of the rampant cheating and figured that if Valve wasn't going to fix their game to disallow at least SOME of the cheats (aimbot,seethrough walls, etc) than I was going to become part of the problem.

Frankly, I have to admit, it was a lot of fun. There is something disturbingly exciting about having that degree of power, even if it is in a game.

Anyways, just my 2 cents.
on Mar 27, 2004
If an aggressive poster is classified as a troll and then a coward by Brads definition, then how do you classify a statement like, “I just want to punch em in the nose,” a statement of aggression boldly proclaimed from the safety of a computer terminal? Harassment is a petty disorderly person’s fine in real life, attacking someone however, is an assault; some states have huge penalties for assault, even if simple. Even if it turns out that you are physically superior to a person online that is harassing you... so what? To physically attack someone in real life has much bigger real life consequences then hurting someone’s feelings with a string of text, attacking someone brings lawsuits, jail, fines, court.
on Mar 27, 2004
There was a ? at the end of my last reply.
on Mar 28, 2004
"Harassment is a petty disorderly person’s fine in real life, attacking someone however, is an assault; some states have huge penalties for assault, "

The wish to inflict physical pain as a method of justice is not against the law, AR. It is the inappropriate manifestation of those wishes. I believe you would find Brad very much in control of his desires in most cases.

~Dan
on Mar 28, 2004

Anthony: Wanting to punch someone in the nose and actually punching someone in the nose are two very different things.

I've never written something on-line that I wouldn't say to someone's face. Remember, I use my real name. I'm in the phone book. I take shots all the time from people who say the most vile things that I know would never say what they saay to the person's face.

Incidentally, there is no one on JoeUser.com that I've seen that even remotely qualifies as a griefer. They are fairly rare so when you'e seen one, you know it. If you're not sure someone is a griefer, they're not.

on Mar 28, 2004
Wow , I stumbled onto this link by accident but i am very glad i did. Well written article and to the point. It's funny I think we've all met a griefer on-line at some time or another but this is the first time I read an article on it. Thank you Brad
on Mar 28, 2004
help someone (funny name)

Your totaly right , griefers tend to read something and totaly miss what's being said and focus on a spelling error to prove they're more clever!
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