This is making its way around the net... New Chemical Element Discovered Called "Governmentium" A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by v...
Got this in an email today. Thought you'd get a kick out of it: EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite 9:40 AM - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! 11:30 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 12:00 Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 PM - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 PM - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My fa...
http://www.alphecca.com/archives/alarc022804.html#d Brice: Could you perhaps tell us about some of the policy initiatives of a Kerry administration? Kerry: Um, what? Brice: You know, what are your plans for stimulating job growth, fixing Social Security, protecting America's borders, Medicare, education, the nation's infra-structure-- Kerry: I fought in the Viet Nam war. That's my platform. Brice: I've listened to your speeches, watched your TV commercials, surfed you...
This is a true story:
Dear Mrs.. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told Sarah how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had. Then I found one more in the back room, and several people were fighting over who would get it. Sarah's picture does NOT show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.
Sincerely,
Mrs.. Smith
The song about Delilah that's been on the radio was written about a girl who isn't interested in the guy. As a result, someone came up with a hilarious parody of the song that is in response.
Okay, anyone really into Tolkien, especially The Silmarillion will really enjoy this.
A little satire on how seriously some people take role playing. (looks up at the ceiling)
I don't really like Star Trek. I mean, it's okay. But I don't go out of my way to watch it. Never have. But you wouldn't know that from walking into my house. I have an entire bookshelf full of Star Trek books (that I've never read) and tucked away are various Star Trek ornaments, toys, holograms, and other Star Trek junk. So if I don't like Star Trek, how come I have all this Star Trek stuff? Simple: People give them to me as gifts. Here's how it works - I'm a nerdy guy. I mean, my job i...
Clearly my offensiveness is a genetic condition. Therefore, I have a disability and nothing is my fault. Seriously though, here’s some fun my teenage son had with photoshop he sent me. Top X rejected flavors for chips. I won’t post the others he sent. They’re unprintable…
My daughter said the Raptors don’t like to be pet.
As part of my comprehensive settlement with state and local authorities I have been asked to make this public apology in an effort to help alleviate common misconceptions regarding the rights of citizens. I realize that things got out of control. I know that now. The numerous interventions, the visits from social services along with the highway patrol have all helped me understand that my understanding on certain legal…particulars was inaccurate. The following is a list of of common m...
I can’t help but think of this video: http://youtu.be/pbIR51_J_qY
This is making its way around the net... New Chemical Element Discovered Called "Governmentium" A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by v...
Got this in an email today. Thought you'd get a kick out of it: EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite 9:40 AM - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite! 10:30 AM - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! 11:30 AM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! 12:00 Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 1:00 PM - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite! 4:00 PM - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! 5:00 PM - Oh Boy! Dog food! My fa...